Happy couple

Each spouse’s health and happiness contributes to the health and happiness of their marriage.

Do your self-care habits affect the quality of your marriage?

You better believe it! Marriage is a union of two individuals and the health and happiness of each individual dramatically affects the quality of the marriage.

Last Tuesday I held a class called “How to Practice Self-Care So You Can Show Up Happy in Your Marriage”. In the presentation, I talk about what self-care is and what it isn’t.

What Self-Care Isn’t

Isn’t it fascinating that many things that are done in the same of self-care are actually not beneficial at all? Things like obsessive TV watching, overeating, listening to raucous music, compulsive gaming, or spending time with friends that drag you down or encourage you to do destructive things … are all done for positive reasons, but deliver negative results.

What Self-Care Is

True self-care actions are things you think, say, do, or take in with the intention of building yourself up, and they actually do build you up. Things like getting a good amount of sleep, doing yoga, exercising your body, connecting with healthy and happy friends, developing an attitude of gratitude, eating whole foods and particularly a good amount of vegetables, drinking lots of water … are all good things to do that deliver positive results.

It’s important to evaluate the things you do in the name of relaxation, entertainment, and socializing to make sure they are building you up in the long term as well as the short term.

3 Suggestions for Self-Care

Here are three suggestions for positive self-care:

  1. Explore the science of happiness and experiment with ways to increase your overall happiness on a daily basis.

  2.  

    Work on improving your physical health. “Don’t prioritize your schedule, schedule your priorities” (Stephen Covey). Make sure your health habits are scheduled priorities.

  3.  

    Learn how to use your feelings to connect to your needs and then meet those needs in healthy ways. Marshall Rosenberg teaches a linear way to do this through the use of Nonviolent Communication.

To your health, happiness, and happily ever after!


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